A well intended message goes askew with "(K)notty Words"

This Ice Chip was posted on January 17, 2012.  Wanted to share the message here on the Ice Chips Blog


Recently, I received an email from Susan Rooks, a fan of Remember the Ice. She is the Grammar Goddess and specializes in Editing and Proofreading. Here is the text of her message:

Hi Bob – First, happy new year! I hope the holidays have been joyous for you and your family.

Second, I saw this blog post and immediately wanted to put this woman into your (K)notty Words Protection Service!

Blog Post from Janet Callaway
The blog post is from a poem entitles “A Creed to Live By” by Nancye Sims. In “A Creed to Live By,” poet Nancye Sims tells you what not to do so that you can live a rich and full life being the best you possible.
 
Here is the text of her poem:

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.

By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.

It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you’re going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

As one who is passionate about removing the “(K)notty Words” from the English Language: Not, Don’t, Can’t, Won’t, Wouldn’t, Couldn’t, Shouldn’t, Should, But, Try, and a few more (see my complete list on: http://www.remembertheice.com/knotty-words/toolsscore-php/ ), I am curious; why on Earth would anyone motivate themselves or others with the opposite of what you want? Why focus on what to avoid when it's by far more powerful to focus on what can be accomplished?

If you are familiar with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), chances are you have heard the infamous question:

“If I say to you don’t think of the color blue, what color did you just think of?
The answer is BLUE. Even though some will attempt to be clever and say some other color; the fact still remains they thought of BLUE first.

My point is simply this: Tell me what you would like me to do.

By just removing the “don’t”, look how confusing the message becomes.

Undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been, and also where you’re going.
Life is a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Regarding Ms. Sims words, her message offers great inspiration in her second statements. In my opinion, she could have enhanced her overall message by stating what she wanted people to aspire to — here is her message minus the “(K)notty Words”

Stop undermining your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Avoid setting your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Appreciate the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Stop living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
You still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop doing.
It is healthy to accept that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Be willing to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Know that love is easy to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Hang on to your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Appreciate and embrace your life — where you’ve been, and also where you’re going.
Life is a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Thoughts are things. Words mean things. Maybe by focusing on what you want to accomplish you can lead yourself to numerous levels of success. There is Power in the Clarity of your Articulation!

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln

Make a determined effort to change your thoughts. Eradicate the “(K)notty Words” and start right now using the Re-Framing Five: Do, Can, Will, Would, Could.

Happy New Year!!

Bob

Ice Chip #152

If I say to you, “Don't think of the color Blue, what color did you just think of?.

Why, “Blue”, of course.

Right. Of course.

Because the mind hears “think of the color Blue.”

And the not virtually disappears from the word “Do” – therefore you are left with the logical statement: Do think of the color Blue.

Take a look at the picture below. It is from a safety course focusing on Electrical Hazards. You will notice there are two lists.

A Do list, and a Don't list.

The Do list is straight forward, precise and safety oriented.

Look at the confusion caused by the Don't list.

Was there any question in your mind which list was the Don't list?

It is pretty apparent. The safety suggestions in the yellow list would have been better served on an AVOID List. Then those workers, associates, managers, members of the public; basically anyone reading the list would know what to stay away from doing!!

I truly believe they would want their associates to work from a different set of guidelines.

Here is how the list was shown on the training module.

How about Re-Framing the yellow list:

Avoid:

Overloading outlets

Fastening cords with staples or nails

Running cords through water or touching cords with wet hands

Using damaged cords

Using ungrounded cords or removing grounding prong from a three-pronged plug

Remember the Ice is about using BETTER word choice to get the results you want.

Remember the Ice helps you:

When I trained with Tony Robbins back in 1991, I experienced and learned several life changing concepts including overcoming phobias, doing a fire-walk over 1000 degree hot coals and transformational vocabulary.  One of the most powerful lessons I took with me from his Neuro-Associative Conditioning Systems (NACS) Certification program in Kona, HI that July; was the mantra:

Repetition is the mother of skill.

~~~Tony Robbins

In Remember the Ice, this mantra is like a heartbeat.  When I founded the concept two days after returning from my experience in Hawaii, I knew right away that Repetition would be one of my greatest allies in changing life-long word choices.

Many of us have been told to stop saying "can't" by our parents when we were young children.  The amazing thing is that usually within minutes, the parent was saying something like, "I can't get that to work" or "I can't believe what you did" or "You can't do that anymore" or some other phrase with "can't" firmly entrenched in the comment.

I have witnessed this happen thousands of times in my life, paying particular attention to it since July 23, 1991 -- the birthday of Remember the Ice.

So with the idea of eradicating "(K)notty Words" firmly entrenched in one's speech patterns, it is necessary to remind yourself over and over to say what you would like to have happen.

Let's review the initial sign that started this concept:  Don't forget the ice.  We know that the "not" becomes invisible in the comment, and the customer is left with the only logical conclusion:  Forget the ice.  Yikes!!

So, this week's lesson is:

Instead of telling ourselves or our children or co-workers what we think we are incapable of, or terrible at or just plane dumb about -- in the interest of resolutions and repetition; let's focus on what we want to have happen.

Let's commit to using the Re-Framing Five more often:  DO, CAN, WILL, WOULD, COULD!

Have a BETTER week by using BETTER Word Choice!

Empowering Regards,

Bob