A well intended message goes askew with "(K)notty Words"

This Ice Chip was posted on January 17, 2012.  Wanted to share the message here on the Ice Chips Blog


Recently, I received an email from Susan Rooks, a fan of Remember the Ice. She is the Grammar Goddess and specializes in Editing and Proofreading. Here is the text of her message:

Hi Bob – First, happy new year! I hope the holidays have been joyous for you and your family.

Second, I saw this blog post and immediately wanted to put this woman into your (K)notty Words Protection Service!

Blog Post from Janet Callaway
The blog post is from a poem entitles “A Creed to Live By” by Nancye Sims. In “A Creed to Live By,” poet Nancye Sims tells you what not to do so that you can live a rich and full life being the best you possible.
 
Here is the text of her poem:

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.

By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.

It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you’re going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

As one who is passionate about removing the “(K)notty Words” from the English Language: Not, Don’t, Can’t, Won’t, Wouldn’t, Couldn’t, Shouldn’t, Should, But, Try, and a few more (see my complete list on: http://www.remembertheice.com/knotty-words/toolsscore-php/ ), I am curious; why on Earth would anyone motivate themselves or others with the opposite of what you want? Why focus on what to avoid when it's by far more powerful to focus on what can be accomplished?

If you are familiar with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), chances are you have heard the infamous question:

“If I say to you don’t think of the color blue, what color did you just think of?
The answer is BLUE. Even though some will attempt to be clever and say some other color; the fact still remains they thought of BLUE first.

My point is simply this: Tell me what you would like me to do.

By just removing the “don’t”, look how confusing the message becomes.

Undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been, and also where you’re going.
Life is a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Regarding Ms. Sims words, her message offers great inspiration in her second statements. In my opinion, she could have enhanced her overall message by stating what she wanted people to aspire to — here is her message minus the “(K)notty Words”

Stop undermining your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Avoid setting your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Appreciate the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Stop living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
You still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop doing.
It is healthy to accept that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Be willing to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Know that love is easy to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Hang on to your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Appreciate and embrace your life — where you’ve been, and also where you’re going.
Life is a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Thoughts are things. Words mean things. Maybe by focusing on what you want to accomplish you can lead yourself to numerous levels of success. There is Power in the Clarity of your Articulation!

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln

Make a determined effort to change your thoughts. Eradicate the “(K)notty Words” and start right now using the Re-Framing Five: Do, Can, Will, Would, Could.

Happy New Year!!

Bob

Ice Chip #152

If I say to you, “Don't think of the color Blue, what color did you just think of?.

Why, “Blue”, of course.

Right. Of course.

Because the mind hears “think of the color Blue.”

And the not virtually disappears from the word “Do” – therefore you are left with the logical statement: Do think of the color Blue.

Take a look at the picture below. It is from a safety course focusing on Electrical Hazards. You will notice there are two lists.

A Do list, and a Don't list.

The Do list is straight forward, precise and safety oriented.

Look at the confusion caused by the Don't list.

Was there any question in your mind which list was the Don't list?

It is pretty apparent. The safety suggestions in the yellow list would have been better served on an AVOID List. Then those workers, associates, managers, members of the public; basically anyone reading the list would know what to stay away from doing!!

I truly believe they would want their associates to work from a different set of guidelines.

Here is how the list was shown on the training module.

How about Re-Framing the yellow list:

Avoid:

Overloading outlets

Fastening cords with staples or nails

Running cords through water or touching cords with wet hands

Using damaged cords

Using ungrounded cords or removing grounding prong from a three-pronged plug

Remember the Ice is about using BETTER word choice to get the results you want.

Remember the Ice helps you:

When I trained with Tony Robbins back in 1991, I experienced and learned several life changing concepts including overcoming phobias, doing a fire-walk over 1000 degree hot coals and transformational vocabulary.  One of the most powerful lessons I took with me from his Neuro-Associative Conditioning Systems (NACS) Certification program in Kona, HI that July; was the mantra:

Repetition is the mother of skill.

~~~Tony Robbins

In Remember the Ice, this mantra is like a heartbeat.  When I founded the concept two days after returning from my experience in Hawaii, I knew right away that Repetition would be one of my greatest allies in changing life-long word choices.

Many of us have been told to stop saying "can't" by our parents when we were young children.  The amazing thing is that usually within minutes, the parent was saying something like, "I can't get that to work" or "I can't believe what you did" or "You can't do that anymore" or some other phrase with "can't" firmly entrenched in the comment.

I have witnessed this happen thousands of times in my life, paying particular attention to it since July 23, 1991 -- the birthday of Remember the Ice.

So with the idea of eradicating "(K)notty Words" firmly entrenched in one's speech patterns, it is necessary to remind yourself over and over to say what you would like to have happen.

Let's review the initial sign that started this concept:  Don't forget the ice.  We know that the "not" becomes invisible in the comment, and the customer is left with the only logical conclusion:  Forget the ice.  Yikes!!

So, this week's lesson is:

Instead of telling ourselves or our children or co-workers what we think we are incapable of, or terrible at or just plane dumb about -- in the interest of resolutions and repetition; let's focus on what we want to have happen.

Let's commit to using the Re-Framing Five more often:  DO, CAN, WILL, WOULD, COULD!

Have a BETTER week by using BETTER Word Choice!

Empowering Regards,

Bob

Happy New Year!

For those of you who have been fans of Remember the Ice, I want to say thank you for your support and desire to Re-Frame your message with Empowering Word Choice.

Next week most of us will be set on making some resolutions. One article I came across suggested that 95% of the resolutions made are forgotten and suffer no follow through – usually in the first 30 days.

So.

Here is an alternative.

Recover from the holidays. Get your game plan in place for paying off the credit cards you took to the limit.

And, consider making your resolution on February 1^st instead.

The 31 day “stay” of feeling bad for giving up on following through, will allow you to seriously consider some New Years Resolutions.

Personally, I have been a proponent of making ONE resolution for the past three dozen years. I like picking a significant goal and sticking with it for the rest of the year and beyond. (Some times I make them in the middle of the year as my life dictates.)

Here are two of my favorites:

#1

On September 15, 1983 I was working as a Counseling Psychologist for a Community Mental Health Center in our satellite office in Pinckneyville, IL. After 5 straight hour long sessions with clients, I was looking forward to a quick 15 minute break before my next session. I went to the front door of our small office and just took in the view of the Thursday afternoon. The phone rang and my secretary at our main office in DuQuoin (just 20 minutes away) told me my next session had to reschedule.

I decided to take a short walk to rejuvenate myself. Fortunately I spied a Dairy Queen just up the road a few hundred yards and decided that would be my goal. A simple treat from the DQ.

I would treat myself to a little something for me. I ordered a small cone dipped in butterscotch. MMMMM.

The break was a tasty one. More importantly, it was the beginning of a tradition – a resolution – and something I have kept up for 10,331 days (as you read this).

It has become my DQ Moment.

Those first 10 - 12 days I did enjoy the dipped cone from the DQ, and also realized I would need to increase my workouts unless I added some other outlets for that special time for me.  

Quick point of clarification:

The DQ Moment on a daily basis is more about taking time to relax, enjoy a sunset, take in a view of Denali, a round of golf, write my books, root for my favorite Boston sports teams, enjoy a beer with the guys while talking football, a walk or jog, etc.

It is about the act of responding to a desire to do something just for myself, to recharge my batteries.

So even though it was “begat” long after January 1, 1983; the decision was made to do a Little Something for Me – everyday – and it has been accomplished. 

#2

On Tuesday July 23, 1991 at 10:07AM, I walked into a convenience store on Northern Avenue in Phoenix, AZ and saw a sign above the cash register:  Don't forget the ice.  I changed the sign to Remember the Ice and the result was amazing for his ice sales.  It was just the tip of a paradigm iceberg for me.

I developed Remember the Ice some 7463 days ago and I have been eradicating the "(K)notty Words" ever since.

These two resolutions have been very powerful and full of significant impact over time.

Take some time to compose a very special resolution; and consider starting in February after the holiday "dust" settle.  I look forward to hearing about your success through-out the year.

Empowering Regards,

Bob

Commemorative eBook Coming -- 20 Years of Remember the Ice

This week's Ice Chip is a simple announcement for the release of the FREE eBook on July 23rd.  Watch for this special Ice Chip/Ice Pic on Saturday!

Empowering Regards,

Bob

The "(K)notty Word" Calculator

OK, here it is:  The "(K)notty Word" Calculator

The Calculator will allow you to copy and paste any document in the window (when you click the link).  You will receive a breakdown including a total Word Count; # of Sentences: # of (K)notty Words; # of Multi-(K)notty Word Sentences; and a Score ranging from 0 to 100.  Come back to this page for comments about your score.

"(K)notty Words"
Not	Don’t	Can’t	Won’t	Wouldn’t
Couldn’t	Shouldn’t	Should	But	Try
Ain’t	Always	Aren’t	Cannot	Didn’t
Doesn’t	Hadn’t	Hasn’t	Haven’t	Isn’t
Mustn’t	Shan’t	Wasn’t	Weren’t	All
	Every	Never	Ought

Interpreting your “(K)notty Words” vs. Empowering Word Choice score:

90 to 100: Well Done!!  You are at the highest level of empowering communication! Your message is spot on.  It is congruent and specific.  You are speaking, thinking and writing from a position of empowering word choice.  You have a powerful message that is both heard and embraced by your audience.  You have articulated a series of powerful points and have a message with a purpose.  You have begun using the Re-Framing Five regularly.  Your awareness of word choice is peaking consistently.

• There is Power in the Clarity of your Articulation.
  
• There is Power in the Physiology of your Articulation.
  
• There is Power in the Congruency of your Articulation.

As a Master of Articulation, you understand that words mean things.  You also understand that your word choice and body language are most effective when they are synchronized.  You know that repetition is the mother of skill and keep your focus on mastering the fundamentals.
You have delivered a masterful message.

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76 to 89: You have begun to experience a paradigm shift.  This range shows you have made some significant changes in your word choice.  You are very focused on eradicating the “Not and the Hit List Six and Should, But, Try, and the Universals and Absolutes.” Congratulations on reaching this level of empowering and effective articulation.
Your awareness of using the Re-Framing Five is strong and you are comfortable in making the change in bringing these words more into play:  Do, Can, Will, Would, Could.

You recognize the importance of congruency in your message, bringing your physiology in line with your word choice.  There is a difference in the way others respond to you.  They notice you speak differently.  There is a noticeable change—and they appreciate it.  They do so, because your message is clear and uncluttered.
You are still aware of the work necessary to keep the “(K)notty Words” at bay, and are up to the task.

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51 to 75: If you have scored in this range, you might have some question about which direction you are heading.  It feels like you are moving forward, yet at times being tugged back into old habits.
You are in the middle of that Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance concept (see Chapter Two of Bob’s book:  Remember the Ice and Other Paradigm Shifts).  You are more familiar with changing your word choice; AND there is a desire to make a change in your word choice.
Your awareness of “(K)notty Words” is heightened and by recognizing them, you have begun a process of Re-Education.  The awareness is the key.  You adopt using the Re-Framing Five:  Do, Can, Will, Would, Could, and find yourself feeling more and more comfortable at replacing your old word choice with new and more empowering word choice.  Congratulations!

26 to 50: If your score is in this range, there is still a bit of a flawed foundation in the word choice.  There are still more “(K)notty Words” than you would like to have.  You have probably avoided several multiple “(K)nots” in the same sentence, and may have begun the process of eradicating some of the “but, try, should, shouldn’t” words.

If you have been introduced to Remember the Ice or heard Bob share his empowering word choice concepts, you may find yourself stopping in mid-stream on occasion, and thinking of how you might re-frame your message.  You have the start of Cognitive-Emotive Dissonance (Chapter Two of Bob’s book:  Remember the Ice and Other Paradigm Shifts) as you begin to realize, thinking about using new and “different” words for old behaviors you have had for some time, still feels strange to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

0 to 25: There are a total of 28 words that make up the “(K)notty Words” list.  (We spell it with a “k” because these words tie you up in “knots”.)  If your score is in this range, you have unfortunately utilized a large number of them.  These main culprits are identified as “Not and the Hit List Six”. They are “not, don’t, can’t, won’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t”.

In addition to “not” and the words ending in “n’t”, of which there are a total of 18, there are 9 others that distort your message, and create chaos in your articulation.  They are “should, ought, try, but, cannot, all, always, every, never.”

More than likely your message contains way too many of the 28.  The words “but, try, should & shouldn’t are more heavily weighted, and they are likely prevalent in the message. Plus you might have some incongruency in your verbal delivery:  saying yes, although you’re shaking your head back and forth in the “no” motion.
Having multiple words in the same sentence only compounds the issue and creates an exponential chaotic effect in both the delivery of, and the receiving of your message.

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Consider contacting Master Articulator and Chief Paradigm Shifter, Bob Nicoll, creator of the empowering word choice program Remember the Ice. He can help you with your word choice and “metamorphosize” your message to one that is congruent and empowering.  He can easily be reached by email:  bob.nicoll@remembertheice.com or by phone:  907-862-1983.

Derek Jeter really wants to play.... at least I think he does....

Derek Jeter is on the Disabled List

NEW YORK (AP) — The New York Yankees have put shortstop Derek Jeter on the disabled list because of a strained right calf, delaying his pursuit of 3,000 career hits. The Yankees made the move before Tuesday night's game against Texas. He was hurt Monday night, four innings after he got his 2,994th hit.

This is the first time Jeter has been on the 15-day DL since 2003. The Yankees captain is known for trying to play through injuries, but limped off the field in the fifth inning and immediately left the game. 

Being a die hahd Red Sox fan, it is rare that I root for the Yankees--if ever!  However in this instance, I was sorry to hear about Jeter’s injury.  He is a class player and a great ambassador for the game.   I hope he is able to return to the field of play soon, and continue his pursuit of one of the legendary milestones in baseball.

I know it means so much to him, because in his press conference about being placed on the DL he made it very clear what his desire was:

I don’t like not to play!

Really?!?!

Watch what happens when the “(K)notty Words” are removed:

I like to play!

How simple is that to Re-Frame the Message?  Just say what you mean.